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What am I being told?
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Thanks to author Brett Harrington, MACAT, ANZACATA Therapist, ADHD specialist
As well as being on the board of ADHD NZ, Brett Harrington is an ADHD specialist coach, counsellor and therapist and manages her own consultancy, ADHD Sorted. Since 2011, she has been dedicated to working with adults and children with ADHD using her ADHD-friendly and tailored approach to help them to manage life's challenges, be it in school, university, employment, business or relationships. "In this series of blog posts, I’ll talk about the 5 key ‘Awarenesses’ those with ADHD need to achieve a less confusing and more productive life. We should approach these 'Awarenesses' with a spirit of curiosity and a big helping of self-compassion. "This is the third in this series of five blogs." |
What am I being told?
In previous blogs (links to these blogs "What am I doing?" and "What am I telling myself?" are below) I talked about noticing and becoming aware of what we do, what we say to ourselves about it and how we say it; is it kind and is it true?
The messages or “tapes”, that play in our head are often based on things we heard or understood during childhood.
If we were fortunate, the grown-ups around us were understanding and accepting of our ADHD tendencies.
But sometimes different messages came through. These might have included the message that we were being lazy or not trying hard enough, whereas we may have tried very hard to do the right thing but somehow couldn’t quite get there. To be criticised for not trying can feel unjust and devastating.
It’s not just what we may have heard growing up that influences what we say to ourselves, it’s also the everyday messages we get from the world around us regarding what we should strive for.
In 2021, this message can be summed up in one word: PRODUCTIVITY.
At times, it can seem like we're expected to be nothing more than task-executing machines. I would argue that while some of us can, and don’t mind, cranking out one task after another, we’re not all built for that. Some of us simply need more time to contemplate things, time between tasks to pet the cat, look out the window or just sit!
It’s important that we are aware of the messages we hear both from within and without regarding how we are expected to function and weigh those messages carefully against our own natural rhythms.
The messages or “tapes”, that play in our head are often based on things we heard or understood during childhood.
If we were fortunate, the grown-ups around us were understanding and accepting of our ADHD tendencies.
But sometimes different messages came through. These might have included the message that we were being lazy or not trying hard enough, whereas we may have tried very hard to do the right thing but somehow couldn’t quite get there. To be criticised for not trying can feel unjust and devastating.
It’s not just what we may have heard growing up that influences what we say to ourselves, it’s also the everyday messages we get from the world around us regarding what we should strive for.
In 2021, this message can be summed up in one word: PRODUCTIVITY.
At times, it can seem like we're expected to be nothing more than task-executing machines. I would argue that while some of us can, and don’t mind, cranking out one task after another, we’re not all built for that. Some of us simply need more time to contemplate things, time between tasks to pet the cat, look out the window or just sit!
It’s important that we are aware of the messages we hear both from within and without regarding how we are expected to function and weigh those messages carefully against our own natural rhythms.
