In previous blogs; What am I doing? and What am I telling myself?, I talked about noticing and becoming aware of what we do, what we say to ourselves about it, and how we say it; is it kind and is it true?
The messages or 'tapes', that play in our head are often based on things we heard or understood during childhood.
If we were fortunate, the grown-ups around us were understanding and accepting of our ADHD tendencies.
But sometimes different messages came through. These might have included the message that we were being lazy or not trying hard enough, whereas we may have tried very hard to do the right thing but somehow couldn’t quite get there. To be criticised for not trying can feel unjust and devastating.
It’s not just what we may have heard growing up that influences what we say to ourselves, it’s also the everyday messages we get from the world around us regarding what we should strive for.
This message can be summed up in one word: PRODUCTIVITY.
At times, it can seem like we're expected to be nothing more than task-executing machines. I would argue that while some of us can, and don’t mind, cranking out one task after another, we’re not all built for that. Some of us simply need more time to contemplate things, time between tasks to pet the cat, look out the window or just sit!
It’s important that we are aware of the messages we hear both from within and without regarding how we are expected to function and weigh those messages carefully against our own natural rhythms.
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