Photo by Peter Berglund
Am I giving myself enough credit?
Thanks to author Brett Harrington, MACAT, ANZACATA Therapist, ADHD specialist
As well as being on the board of ADHD NZ, Brett Harrington is an ADHD specialist coach, counsellor and therapist and manages her own consultancy, ADHD Sorted. Since 2011, she has been dedicated to working with adults and children with ADHD using her ADHD-friendly and tailored approach to help them to manage life's challenges, be it in school, university, employment, business or relationships. "In this series of blog posts, I’ll talk about the 5 key ‘Awarenesses’ those with ADHD need to achieve a less confusing and more productive life. We should approach these 'Awarenesses' with a spirit of curiosity and a big helping of self-compassion. "This is the final blog in this series of five blogs." |
Am I giving myself enough credit?
What if simply pausing to feel good lead to feeling good more often?
Many of us with ADHD, have resorted to creating inner stress to spur ourselves onward, as a means of compensating for feeling undermotivated.
This is understandable but it isn’t necessary.
When we pause, notice and become more aware of everything we do that does serve our intentions, by giving ourselves credit for those accomplishments, of any size, we begin to grow the Brain’s Natural Reward System that is our dopamine delivery system - our happiness.
This is why it’s important to ask ourselves - "am I giving myself enough credit?".
Consider how a rugby game works: a player scores a point. The fans go wild. The players of the team that scored celebrate. There's congratulatory hugs and fist bumps all around. This is how you might celebrate a win.
What if, instead of celebrating the win like this, the team went into a huddle to discuss how the shot could have been better or what if the team then picked up the net and moved it a little further away? Ridiculous, right?
But that could describe what many of us, with ADHD, do when we meet a goal or intention. Instead of celebrating or allowing ourselves a sense of satisfaction, we move the goal post, minimising the accomplishment or worse, dismissing it all together!
Something I hear often from my clients is: "yes, I did finish my assignment, but I should have done it sooner, or quicker, or better". We say this because we think it’s going to make us do better next time but, more often than not, this “moving the goal post” isn’t motivating but more likely just the opposite – it’s defeating.
We may not be perfect but we need to give ourselves credit for every little thing we do that does support our intentions.
Cultivate awareness by being curious; stay in curiosity by doing so with great self-compassion.
Many of us with ADHD, have resorted to creating inner stress to spur ourselves onward, as a means of compensating for feeling undermotivated.
This is understandable but it isn’t necessary.
When we pause, notice and become more aware of everything we do that does serve our intentions, by giving ourselves credit for those accomplishments, of any size, we begin to grow the Brain’s Natural Reward System that is our dopamine delivery system - our happiness.
This is why it’s important to ask ourselves - "am I giving myself enough credit?".
Consider how a rugby game works: a player scores a point. The fans go wild. The players of the team that scored celebrate. There's congratulatory hugs and fist bumps all around. This is how you might celebrate a win.
What if, instead of celebrating the win like this, the team went into a huddle to discuss how the shot could have been better or what if the team then picked up the net and moved it a little further away? Ridiculous, right?
But that could describe what many of us, with ADHD, do when we meet a goal or intention. Instead of celebrating or allowing ourselves a sense of satisfaction, we move the goal post, minimising the accomplishment or worse, dismissing it all together!
Something I hear often from my clients is: "yes, I did finish my assignment, but I should have done it sooner, or quicker, or better". We say this because we think it’s going to make us do better next time but, more often than not, this “moving the goal post” isn’t motivating but more likely just the opposite – it’s defeating.
We may not be perfect but we need to give ourselves credit for every little thing we do that does support our intentions.
Cultivate awareness by being curious; stay in curiosity by doing so with great self-compassion.