Photo by MangoStar Studio
Venting in an online world
Your cat ran over your desk and tipped your coffee over your notes, your neighbour’s started up their lawnmower, another project has just been dumped on you at work and your partner has just called to say they can’t pick up the kids so now you have to drop everything and go. So much for a day where you had planned to focus on tackling those top three things on your “to-do” list.
You feel like screaming but just venting to someone would help.
Venting is a brief release of emotion and frustration. It’s an expression of how you’re feeling in that moment while keeping in mind what you’re feeling is temporary. Venting is different from oversharing.
Oversharing can be described as revealing an inappropriate amount of details about yourself. It often stems from a need to connect with people and can be exacerbated when online because it’s harder to read what the person at the other end of the line is thinking.
Some mental health conditions such as Bipolar, Depression, or Anxiety can also cause oversharing. If you aren’t receiving support from those around you about your mental health, you can often turn to the internet to supplement this.
However, when managed, venting does enable you to blow off some steam and allows you to keep going in a relatively normal manner. It may even be healthier for you than bottling it all up. So how can you vent without oversharing and putting your relationships, reputation, or even your job in jeopardy?
Here are some tips to consider on how to “vent responsibly”.
When do you over-share?
Figuring out the time and place to overshare, and understanding its effects on your mental health can be a useful activity, but the first step is learning when you overshare and how you can reel it in.
The easiest way to stop oversharing is to take a moment to think before you ‘speak’ - imagine the ripple effect of the information you want to share. Would you mind your friends gossiping about this? Would you be okay with your Grandma seeing what you’re about to post? What about if your boss heard about it?
You may also need to stop posting when you’re upset or angry. You may say something you didn’t mean and ruin a friendship or relationship that could be solved with a simple conversation when you’ve cooled down.
Who do you vent to?
Choosing how to vent is one thing, choosing who you should vent to is equally, if not more, important. First and foremost, it’s about who you trust with handling not only your emotions but also the information you’re sharing.
Contacting the person you’re going to vent to
Messaging the wrong person, or worse, pinging a group chat by accident could have implications for your relationships particularly if it’s in a work environment. Just as easily, emailing your latest frustration to a colleague could easily land in the wrong hands.
Video call a friend or a friendly at work and ask them to chat. By removing the possibility of messaging or talking to the wrong person in a group chat or email, a private video call is a great alternative to let it all out.
Alternatives to venting out loud
If you can’t think of anyone to contact immediately, then try writing it down. Documenting your feelings is shown to reduce stress and emotional trauma, and even help regulate the feelings you have going on in the moment. Writing down what you’re feeling also helps with that “pent up” feeling.
Give yourself free rein and no interruptions and begin writing nonstop until you feel some of that tension ease up. By expressing yourself via writing, you may even be able to think more clearly about the issues at large that you’re facing.
If you have time, take a moment to go for a quick walk. In addition to the health benefits, a quick walk can help distract you, lower your blood pressure and boost your mood from whatever is going on.
Physically distancing yourself from the place where the frustration occurred can help you to ensure the relationships of those participating in that frustration don’t get compromised.
Let It Out
Venting can be a healthy way of bonding and building your relationships.
And if it’s used right, oversharing can be a powerful tool to help you open up and connect with like-minded individuals. Announcing to your friends that you’re struggling as a way to explain why you’ve not been replying to their texts can be therapeutic.
It also helps us all feel more connected about being empathetic towards one another.
ADHD NZ provides several closed Facebook groups for parents and their children, adults who have been diagnosed with or suspect they have ADHD, whanau and friends. Here we invite our community to vent and overshare, in a safe space.
If you haven’t already joined, feel free to sign up and we’ll see you there soon.
You feel like screaming but just venting to someone would help.
Venting is a brief release of emotion and frustration. It’s an expression of how you’re feeling in that moment while keeping in mind what you’re feeling is temporary. Venting is different from oversharing.
Oversharing can be described as revealing an inappropriate amount of details about yourself. It often stems from a need to connect with people and can be exacerbated when online because it’s harder to read what the person at the other end of the line is thinking.
Some mental health conditions such as Bipolar, Depression, or Anxiety can also cause oversharing. If you aren’t receiving support from those around you about your mental health, you can often turn to the internet to supplement this.
However, when managed, venting does enable you to blow off some steam and allows you to keep going in a relatively normal manner. It may even be healthier for you than bottling it all up. So how can you vent without oversharing and putting your relationships, reputation, or even your job in jeopardy?
Here are some tips to consider on how to “vent responsibly”.
When do you over-share?
Figuring out the time and place to overshare, and understanding its effects on your mental health can be a useful activity, but the first step is learning when you overshare and how you can reel it in.
The easiest way to stop oversharing is to take a moment to think before you ‘speak’ - imagine the ripple effect of the information you want to share. Would you mind your friends gossiping about this? Would you be okay with your Grandma seeing what you’re about to post? What about if your boss heard about it?
You may also need to stop posting when you’re upset or angry. You may say something you didn’t mean and ruin a friendship or relationship that could be solved with a simple conversation when you’ve cooled down.
Who do you vent to?
Choosing how to vent is one thing, choosing who you should vent to is equally, if not more, important. First and foremost, it’s about who you trust with handling not only your emotions but also the information you’re sharing.
Contacting the person you’re going to vent to
Messaging the wrong person, or worse, pinging a group chat by accident could have implications for your relationships particularly if it’s in a work environment. Just as easily, emailing your latest frustration to a colleague could easily land in the wrong hands.
Video call a friend or a friendly at work and ask them to chat. By removing the possibility of messaging or talking to the wrong person in a group chat or email, a private video call is a great alternative to let it all out.
Alternatives to venting out loud
If you can’t think of anyone to contact immediately, then try writing it down. Documenting your feelings is shown to reduce stress and emotional trauma, and even help regulate the feelings you have going on in the moment. Writing down what you’re feeling also helps with that “pent up” feeling.
Give yourself free rein and no interruptions and begin writing nonstop until you feel some of that tension ease up. By expressing yourself via writing, you may even be able to think more clearly about the issues at large that you’re facing.
If you have time, take a moment to go for a quick walk. In addition to the health benefits, a quick walk can help distract you, lower your blood pressure and boost your mood from whatever is going on.
Physically distancing yourself from the place where the frustration occurred can help you to ensure the relationships of those participating in that frustration don’t get compromised.
Let It Out
Venting can be a healthy way of bonding and building your relationships.
And if it’s used right, oversharing can be a powerful tool to help you open up and connect with like-minded individuals. Announcing to your friends that you’re struggling as a way to explain why you’ve not been replying to their texts can be therapeutic.
It also helps us all feel more connected about being empathetic towards one another.
ADHD NZ provides several closed Facebook groups for parents and their children, adults who have been diagnosed with or suspect they have ADHD, whanau and friends. Here we invite our community to vent and overshare, in a safe space.
If you haven’t already joined, feel free to sign up and we’ll see you there soon.
