October is ADHD awareness month. This year ADHD New Zealand wants to share the stories of New Zealanders with ADHD, who have found careers and passions that work for them. It’s not an easy road when your neurons spark in a different way and we hope these stories can inspire those with ADHD, and show others the amazing things we can do. 

ADHD New Zealand recieves no government funding for our operations - we exist thanks to the support of our incredible community. If you are able, please consider donating to help us continue our mahi (work.) 

From battling burnout to supporting neurodivergent wāhine

When neurodivergent burnout forced Chelsea Rowlands to leave a high-performing job she loved, she turned an ending into a new beginning. Retraining as a health coach, she set up her own business (Nurture Her Health Coaching), and now supports wāhine though their own health and wellbeing struggles. 

Like many parents, Chelsea discovered she was neurodivergent while supporting her daughter through her own diagnosis. You can follow the family’s neurodivergence journey here: Finding the lost generation of women

I can never go back to a corporate job

When Chelsea returned to her job as an organisational development consultant after her son turned one, she had a lot going on. She was supporting her, then undiagnosed, neurodivergent daughter, dealing with health issues, and (she now knows) her own ADHD.

“My capacity just wasn’t there like it used to be. I had no idea what was going on, why I couldn’t function. I couldn’t think clearly, I couldn’t attend to meetings properly, I was generally losing the plot,” she said. 

After spending the next four years as a stay-at-home mum, and supporting her daughter, Chelsea realised she would never go back. “Those were dark times. If I want to be a present, engaged, mother to my children, I can’t go back there.”

Working to her capacity 

Chelsea realised she needed to change the way she worked, if she and her family were going to thrive. They moved to Rotorua from Auckland, and the lifestyle shift made a big difference. It gave her space to support her daughter and get to work on her business idea. 

Chelsea retrained as a health coach and now works with wāhine one-on-one, and organisations in the employee wellbeing space. Now she works for herself, she can largely choose her hours to meet her energy levels. 

“Yesterday was a really low-capacity day, so I dropped kids at school, had one client meeting at 9am, then blocked out the rest of the day. I read a book and hung out with the dog, because that’s what I needed to do.”

 Learning self-compassion

Despite having a better understanding of why some things are a struggle for her, Chelsea still battles guilt. 

“I marvel at friends who’ve got several kids, several animals, busy social lives and jobs. They’re working big weeks, and they’re doing all the activities on the weekend. There’s still that internal dialogue for me of ‘Why can’t you do that? Why can’t you be that person?’” 

In those situations, Chelsea tries to take her own medicine. “I’m trying to pull that talk back and have more grace and compassion for myself. Taking all of these things I work through with my clients, and actually internalising some of them for myself - and remembering, comparison really is the thief of joy."

Finding her tribe

As Chelsea’s coaching practice grew, she began to notice something about the wāhine who sought her out. “I was finding my client base organically, and it turned out I was attracting a number of undiagnosed neurodivergent women.” 

“I was told that might happen,” she said. “Women I talked to when I was going through my diagnosis, who had already been diagnosed, said we organically gravitate towards other neurodivergent people. It was fascinating.”

Upskilling in neurodivergent care

Since accidentally finding her client base, Chelsea has been learning a lot. “Just because you’ve got ADHD, doesn’t mean you’ve got the necessary skills and knowledge to coach others. So, there is additional education happening to upskill as a coach.” 

Having lived experience is a huge help, she says.  “I think it would be challenging to coach someone with ADHD without that level of understanding and perspective.”

Chelsea stops short of calling herself an ADHD coach, however.  “There are some amazing ADHD coaches here in New Zealand doing incredible work in this space, but there is a big process to qualify and officially call yourself an ADHD coach,” she said.

Instead, she promotes herself as a neurodivergent affirming coach and is happy to discuss her own ADHD journey with clients, if relevant and appropriate. 

It’s so easy to pinpoint it on other things

Chelsea’s coaching mahi, on top of her own experience, has taught her how easy it is for neurodivergence to get lost in the wave of things that wash over women. 

“Since my diagnosis, there have been friends who’ve started talking more about ADHD, and asking about my experience," Chelsea said.

"They’re starting to think ‘oh sh*t, could it be this? Oh alright, we might have to look into it now.’ Which is really cool because they probably wouldn’t have otherwise, and the struggle would have just continued. It’s so easy to pin a lot of the symptoms elsewhere when you’re a woman.”  

When it’s more than menopause 

One of the areas Chelsea specialises in is perimenopause and menopause. Often, when women seek help for this, it’s the first time they realise something more might be going on. The hormone shifts can unveil neurodivergent symptoms women were managing fairly well, up until this life stage, she said. 

As a health coach, Chelsea won’t suggest a client could be neurodivergent, but sometimes the symptoms and experiences they discuss can be a catalyst for the client to investigate further. 

“Some undiagnosed clients will start talking about their lives, new symptoms that don’t fit with anything, and things they struggle with, that they didn’t previously. We’ll talk about windows of tolerance, sensory overwhelm, and changes in daily capacity, then sometimes this generates a conclusion there’s a piece missing in the puzzle, that this is not a ‘normal’ menopausal experience.

Lack of research into women’s health and neurodivergence

Chelsea’s experiences have shown her how little research there is into wāhine and neurodivergence. “The research around women’s symptoms and experiences is still catching up. ADHD wasn’t a thing for those of us born in the 80’s and 90’s, so some of these women are truly shocked when they find out."

A client, recently diagnosed with ADHD, had been to the doctors about a number of concerns she couldn’t pin down, Chelsea said. 

"She had bloods done, she was assessed for depression, she got her thyroid tested. Not once did anyone suggest ‘maybe this is something neuro-based.’ She was told everything was ‘normal’ because, based on those specific tests, it was."

An office in the great outdoors 

Chelsea says the premise behind her health coaching is that everything is on the clients’ agenda, which is something she embodies wholeheartedly in her practice. She works from home, which frees her up to be flexible around her clients’ needs. 

“If they want to come here, they come here, if they want me to come to them, I come to them. With some clients, depending on what their goals are, we’ll go for walking sessions.” 

Chelsea often holds sessions while walking through the local forest, which she loves.

“I do find a lot of my clients, particularly the spicy ones, talk more freely if they’re doing something. Sitting across the table from each other doesn’t garner as much insight as when we are out bashing through the bush together.”

Workplace wellbeing 

While bush bashing is one option for her Rotorua-based clients, Chelsea can also meet online, which works well for organisational sessions.

“I have a few organisations that I do workplace wellbeing seminars with, and there are a couple of companies where I work with their employee action groups. I’ve got an awesome seminar scheduled for November on imposter syndrome,” she said.

Imposter syndrome is a huge part of what we deal with 

Chelsea is also a certified imposter syndrome coach. “It’s such a fascinating space. I did that certification last year because I was finding virtually all my clients were having to tackle an element of this, before we could get into the reason they’d come to me in the first place.

“And for those of us who are neurodivergent, imposter syndrome can be a huge part of what we deal with.” 

Do you know who you are?

With neurodivergence, imposter syndrome can reach an even deeper level, where people bury who they are for so long they can start to lose themselves, Chelsea says.  

“I met a new client, who was in perimenopause, and going through an ADHD diagnosis, and one thing really stood out. As we started discussing her values and goals I asked her, ‘do you know who you are?’ 

“She looked at me and said, ‘what do you mean?’ and I said ‘when you’re lying in bed at night and the lights are off, and it’s just you. Who are you?’ She looked at me, and her eyes filled with tears, and she said, ‘I don’t know.’"

This client was 42, had a demanding job, and had spent her life being whoever she needed to be for others in her life.

“She said, ‘to be honest, I have no idea who I am. I don’t know what I like, I don’t know what drives me, I spend my time being all things to other people. I have no time to be me, to figure out who that is – and with the ADHD, I’ve got no idea.” 

A really beautiful space 

Chelsea's health coach training placed emphasis on supporting individuals to take control over their own health and wellbeing, focusing on prevention and lifelong healthy behaviour change. She describes a ‘back to basics’ approach, that can be simple as following up after a diagnosis.

“For example, people are diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, told they’ve got to get on top of it, and handed a pamphlet. They walk out of the doctor’s office and it’s like ‘cool, I’ve got a pamphlet. Now I have to try and figure this all out.’

"That's a slightly cynical interpretation of what's happening, but the healthcare system is definitely overloaded, and the support isn't always available,” she said. 

“There’s a really beautiful space for coaches and other health practitioners to go from there. Coaches have the training, dedicated time, and support infrastructure to say, ‘I can walk with you through this until you can do it by yourself.’” 

Preventing the biggest cause of death

Preventable metabolic health conditions are one of the biggest causes of death in New Zealand, Chelsea says. “That’s how the concept of health coaching in New Zealand really came about.

"We currently don’t have the infrastructure to overcome these challenges, but if we can train coaches in the health space, and teach people about behaviour and habit change, then we’ll be better equipped to support people to make lasting shifts. To help them reverse the issues that can be reversed and get on top of their health through lifestyle medicine where applicable.”

Connecting with like-minded professionals

While Chelsea believes neurodivergent people often find it easier to work for themselves, she does enjoy collaborating with other coaches and health practitioners.

“There is a personal trainer here in Rotorua – Kirsty Watt who runs Bootiful Fitness - and we'll refer clients between each other, if they're wanting support in our particular areas. I contract to her online membership, and run monthly women’s wellness webinars for them, which is a great addition."

She was the person who first questioned whether I could be neurodivergent. I have her to thank largely for putting me on this path - my hypermobility was a bit of a giveaway, apparently!”

Connecting with Chelsea

If you are interested in finding out more about Chelsea’s services visit: Nurture Her Health Coaching (nurtureherhealthcoaching.nz) 

To learn about Chelsea’s own ADHD journey, read: Finding the lost generation of women. 

For more stories about ADHD Aotearoa, visit: This is ADHD

Supporting ADHD New Zealand 

ADHD New Zealand is a non-profit organisation, committed to supporting those living with ADHD and their whānau, through practical information and support. We are made up of, and are here because of, members of the neurodivergent community. We get no government funding for our operations. Every course, every support group, and every piece of advocacy, is made possible by the generosity of our donors, and we are so grateful.

If you would like to contribute to our ADHD Awareness Month appeal (or on any month of the year) visit our donation page.