BMX bandits
Mick has introduced Amokura to another new activity. “I harked back to my childhood to get us both BMXs,” he smiles, “so we’re now two BMX bandits riding around Auckland! And, of course, I’ve taught him how to pull a wheely.”
The pair have travelled to Nelson, Bay of Plenty and across the Auckland region to take part in running and obstacle sports events. ‘The Ultimate Athlete’ in Mount Manganui was among them, and completing Round the Bays together was another shared highlight.
Teaching risk management
Mick also helps Amokura manage risk. “I often ask Amokura what he thinks will happen if he does something risky. I’ll say something like, ‘can you see the damage that might do?’ or ‘what’ll happen if?’. It might be attempting a big jump or getting too close to the edge of a cliff.
“I don’t want to hold him back, but I want him to recognise and weigh up risks and make decisions based on that.”
Helping each other communicate
The pair are helping each other improve their communication skills. As well as English, Amokura speaks Te Reo Māori, having grown up in a fluent household. He’s been helping non-native, Mick, who moved here from the UK 13 years ago. “I’ve downloaded an app and I’m trying to learn te reo,” Mick says.
“Coming from England, I still have quite a strong accent. I’m working on it, but my pronunciation isn’t always great. It makes Amokura laugh, though - he finds it so funny.”
Mick is also very encouraging of Amokura developing his own communication skills, too; he gently suggests he speaks up, engages in conversation or tries to direct his words with more focus on the listener.
Becoming part of the pack
The Big Buddy kickstarts each week, on a Monday, with a motivating text message to his Little Buddy. He does this for his nieces and nephews too, and now, Amokura is part of that pack. “We accept him fully, and treat him like he’s one of our own,” Mick says.
Developing a strong bond to your Little Buddy doesn’t always happen immediately, though, Mick shares. “It’s hard to get familiar with each other, quickly. It can be awkward in the beginning! But if you just turn up, and keep turning up, you start to build something.
It's something I've committed to
“You don’t have to do anything extravagant. It can be something as simple as kicking a ball around a park together, skimming stones in the water or washing the work van. Often, all a kid wants is someone to be with.”
Mick has also been inventive in helping to keep the energy flowing both ways. “I brought in a reward system,” he says. “It was a way of doing things for one another; you’ve done this for me, and I’ve done this for you.”
He knows that, over time, their relationship will change, too. “As he gets older, I have to accept he won’t always want to meet up with me; he’ll likely want to spend more time with his mates. But I tell him, ‘I’m always going to be your Big Buddy’. It’s something I've committed to.”
You can find a big buddy and have fun
Amokura is a boy of few words to those unfamiliar to him but shares his thoughts on being a Little Buddy. “I would recommend it. I’d recommend it to have fun. It’s fun to kick a ball around, or ride a BMX. You can find a good Big Buddy and have a lot of fun.”
Mick adds, “You can! And you know now that your ADHD is not something that is going to hold you back, Amokura. It’s your superpower.” Amokura smiles.
To find out more about Big Buddy, visit https://www.bigbuddy.org.nz/
Supporting ADHD New Zealand
ADHD New Zealand is a non-profit organisation committed to supporting those living with ADHD and their whānau, through practical information and support. We are made up of, and are here because of, members of the neurodivergent community. Every course, every support group and every piece of advocacy is made possible by the generosity of our donors, and we are so grateful.
If you would like to contribute to our ADHD Awareness Month appeal (or on any month of the year) visit our donation page.
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